Mysteries Revisited (Part Two)

Where Was I?

So part one of my post was all about the service, about the marriage ceremony. And I'll follow up with a few final observations:

1. As a writing teacher, I am constantly aware of my audience. I may not always heed or cater to my audience (clearly, my long blogs are not audience friendly), but I am always cognizant of all those people just beyond the edge of the stage.
   
   When Mandy and I were planning our wedding, we tried to strike a balance between what we wanted and what our friends and family would enjoy, appreciate, etc. I mentioned in part one that we elicited some good hearty laughs during our service. That laughter was both an expression of communal understanding (a common release) and a nod to the audience.
   
   We wanted the service to be meaningful to everyone. Whether or not this was the case, well… We can write to our audience with the best of intentions and they still may choose to watch American Idol instead.
   
   I am confident, however, that for those involved, for those closest to us, we gave as good as we got.
   
   
2. I was/am still humbled by those who attended, participated. While we were planning, there were always questions, concerns, anxieties. We invite X amount of guests and we can expect X amount to actually attend. Will they? Will the church be big enough? Will there be enough food? Will they throw tomatoes at us? Will Benjamin Braddock try to stop the wedding? All these questions circled like vultures for months. Even after we got RSVP cards back, we still didn't know for sure that it would all come together and work.
   
   There's that faith thing again.
   
   In the end, everything went beautifully. The mood of our rehearsal was laid back and casual. We attribute much of the success of the service to our minister's ability to set the tone and follow through.
   
   Our rehearsal dinner served as a close family gathering. And for all the little things that could have gone wrong, for all the little things that could have spiraled the entire event into chaos, we had people ready and willing to step in, assist and persist.
   
   No one will ever, ever be able to say "It was her special day" about our wedding because it was our day. And that "our" stretches far beyond me and Mandy.
   
   The church was packed but not uncomfortably so. The music was simple but affective. The service was meaningful. There were tears. There was laughter.
   
   None of it would have worked had it not been for the love and support of our family and friends. My (our) gratitude will ever be renewed with each passing year's remembrance.
   
   
3. So, back to listening to that CD of the service. There's a good twenty minutes of piano before anything "happens." Our officiant chimes in with a "Greet the bride." Now, the recording was rudimentary. A kid from the church wired up the minister with a lavalier and all the audio comes from his neck. "Greet the bride," he announces. Mandy starts her trek down the aisle. And then, something I only vaguely recall happens. The minister leans over and says, "Pretty good looking."
   
   He wasn't kidding.
   
   Yeah. I'm glad we got that on the record.

It's Weddin' Food

For all my talk about ceremonies and spending more time, money, and energy planning everything but the ceremony, I love a good wedding reception. I come from the north where marriage is most often celebrated by stuffing stomachs past maximum capacity. A successful marriage for northerners is guaranteed by the amount of food you can get your revelers to ingest.

When we were planning, we agreed that a majority of our money would go toward two things: food and photographer. The photographer was important because we wanted to make sure that we would have a solid, artful record of the event. Since the day went by so quickly (the reception, in my mind, lasted fifteen minutes at the most), we wanted to make sure we had something to refer to, especially since so many people shared that day with us. I remember bouncing around so much for those fifteen minutes that I couldn't really see if anyone was actually enjoying the event. Looking back at those pictures now makes me all misty eyed. Money well spent.

The food, though, was paramount in making sure that we had a memorable and enjoyable reception. The wife and I love good food, and we sought out a caterer who would give us a variety of good eats. Interestingly enough, while Mandy had plates put before her on several occasions, she never really got to eat any of the food. I did…

In the end, we were happy with our decisions and the reception. The wife and I have been to several weddings in the last two years and, without sounding haughty or defensive, I can say that very few of them struck the balance that ours did. We've been to weddings that were more formal than ours. We've been to weddings where more money was clearly spent on "stuff." But…

Most of these weddings, in the end, didn't really make much sense. They were either driven too much by the bride or by the families of the couples. Or they lacked cohesion, a clear vision. Whether it was an out of place photographer, or a stretch Hummer, or more food than some countries have available for their entire populations, they didn't completely reflect the marriage of two people's desires and visions.

I hope they will all last. I hope that my overly critical eye is just that.

I hope I'm just being picky.

But…

I'll end with this (balance): Despite all of our best intentions, when Mandy asked a certain individual about the food at our reception, he responded, "It's weddin' food." This same individual was also a little disappointed that we didn't have any "Bud" to drink.

Fair enough.

Two Years And Counting…

So, two years in and I'm pretty damn happy. I couldn't ask for a better wife. I only wish we had more time to spend together—free of those pesky job responsibilities.

Yesterday, Mandy mentioned the whole "first two years are the hardest" tenet. If they are indeed the hardest, then I think we're in pretty good shape. I won't say that we haven't been tested (the glory and the mystery of life!). And I will note that I can see where couples might not make it past the two year mark. But we've made it through, we've persevered, and our love has not waned.

Again, I am reminded of the prescience of our ceremony, of these words in our "Prayer for the Couple":

We do not ask that they be kept from all sorrows and all trials; but we do ask that they may learn from these, and be stronger because of them.

Two years in and stronger than ever.

Happy anniversary to us indeed!