First of all, maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm too deeply in the "victim mode" to recognize the tragedy that is my, um, victimization…
But I don't think so.
See, I have a real aversion to motivational speakers and pop-shrink-lawyers who profess to have the answer to the modern condition. Not only do I not need these "experts" to find my path in life, I do not appreciate their condescension. This program rests on a tremendous amount of a) assumptions about its audience, and b) stereotypes. Actually, points a and b are related: Interestingly enough, the program rests on our collective experience, which denies the variety and texture of individual life-- while at the same time it champions individual, self-actualization.
Huh.
This begs the question: If we are to accept that we are totally responsible people who are not supposed to allow other's to affect our sense of self, then how can we all-- collectively-- be actualized together? This reminds me of "testifying" and the idea that the spirit of God can zap into a congregation member-- all in response to a preacher's prodding! Now, I could tangentially discuss sacred and profane space. The church is a sacred space; God's presence is a given.
But we were not in a sacred space. We were in the college's cafeteria.
Now, I'll add one more thing: Being that I am not a totally responsible person, I am wary of the notion of mass salvation. Here again, we bump against the church experience. The idea that self-actualization can happen in a four hour workshop is suspect to me.
Don't get me wrong, on some level I recognize the power of testifying, of finding one's path. But given my exposure to Joseph Campbell's concept of the "monomyth," I am distrustful of the notion that we can collectively begin our hero's journeys.
Why?
Because things like rites of passage, salvation and enlightenment are, by their very nature (traveling, if you will, from the realm of the profane to the realm of the sacred) hard. If it were easy, then more people would be enlightened.
The assumption that I make here is one that I think many religious leaders would make:
We are lost and must find our ways.
There are more lost people than there are found people.
So then, we must ponder enlightenment…
TP For The TRP: Why I Know TRP Is Not The Path To Enlightenment
Trademarked acronyms are not the answer.
Yeah, Buddhists have the four noble truths. Christians have the Ten Commandments. But these are expressions of core values, not the trademarked ideas of good entrepreneurs.
Bad jokes are bad jokes, regardless of their intent.
This is at the core of motivational speaking-- and public speaking for that matter. Carefully planned moments of comic relief. Here again, don't get me wrong. I am a fan-- and proponent-- of the brilliantly executed dog and pony show. But when an onslaught of "life strategies" are buoyed by bad jokes, the artificiality impedes true transcendence. I think of evangelists. I think of the Promise Keepers.
Stories (of victimization and "heroism") are just stories.
If you have to substantiate your positive claims through negative (I was struck by how negative many of these stories were!) stories-- modern day parables that illustrate how people are beaten down and broken, but ultimately win the day-- then chances are, they're just stories. I am reminded of Promise Keepers (and, interestingly enough, David Cross's bit from Shut Up You F**king Baby) and the over simplification of complex ideas and emotions. These stories only have power if the people hearing them (and, backwards, the people telling them) believe them. I am too much of a victim, I guess, to see them for anything other than info-tainment… Here again, don't get me wrong. I am a teacher of stories. As such, I have a vested interest in the truth that can be found in stories. But as a teacher of stories, I am fully cognizant (and teach this to my students) of the power of personal truth finding. Stories that are engineered to be readily understood by a crowd of more than 150 people, do not lend themselves to deeper truths. They are just stories.
Identifying stereotypes doesn't lead to deeper understanding.
I cannot emphasize more: These two experts shopped out more clichés and stereotypes in four hours than… I don't know what! One of them actually yelled out at one point, "Can we get a skinny person up here?" Now, I will admit that these two gentlemen surely have good intentions, and that calling someone skinny is not a punishable offense, but in their race to save us from victimhood, they barreled over the rest of the world.
I am reminded of street-hawkers.
A couple weeks ago, I was accosted by some church goers looking to save random people on the street. Such encounters do not illicit real experiences. Why? Because understanding (and by extension, salvation) comes from real relationships and empathy.
How can you be empathetic if you do not understand the person?
How can you understand the person if you've only just met?
And so, this workshop was founded on (well-intentioned?) lies:
That the speakers (workshop leaders) understand the world better than the people in the audience is a lie.
That these individuals fully understand our worldviews is a lie.
That these individuals can empathize with us is a lie.
They're good ones, but they're still lies.
These are lies because the espousers of TRP have not taken the opportunity to understand us. They walked into our cafeteria with preconceived notions of us (some of which, by the laws of probability, may have some truth). We are not ourselves. We are their audience. And so, the workshop becomes simply a parade of stereotypes aimed like a bazooka at general enlightenment.
TRP Is Not The Way To Enlightenment
In fact, TRP is further displacement from the real truth.
I'm not a Buddhist, but isn't the first noble truth of Buddhism "Life is suffering"?
Doesn't this mean we're all victims?
The answer is no. But, if I were to be swept up falsely by the TRP model of life, then I would look at the first noble truth and reject it. Why? Because the phrase denies the self.
See, that's the beauty of the noble truths: They lead one to the path of selflessness. Life is suffering because of attachment. We must shed attachments in order to receive enlightenment.
TRP reveres the self. The main point of TRP is self-actualization. It's about owning life. It is about taking complete control of one's life. It's about changing the way one thinks about one's life. It's about shattering the language of victimization on the way to taking control of all aspects of life. We think like victims and talk like victims, and so our actions (our lives) represent the actions of victims. If we learn to not be victims, then we can be happy. And thus we're enlightened!
But the road to kicking the victim act lies in denial of others' influence on your life.
This notion, over the course of four hours, was illustrated through lesser and greater examples (from not being pissed off at inanimate objects, to teaching our children to be TRPs). The world presses us into the victim mold and keeps us there. Ceasing to be a victim means being able to strong-arm the world. Ceasing to be a victim means denying the power that others have over us.
It's not you. It’s me.
Ceasing to be a victim means our choosing to not be.
We have to be the deciders.
It just occurred to me that maybe President Bush is a TRP!
Things Fall Apart… The Center Cannot Hold
If one puts oneself at the center, then one denies the path to selflessness and becomes selfish.
We should not be surprised by this because, after all, this is the core of American Individuality. This is what we good, honest consumers are conditioned to strive for. Totally Responsible Person's are quintessentially American. In fact, TRP is the supreme realization of the American Dream. What TRP would have you believe is that if you buy into their worldview, you can achieve the American Dream. Hot damn! I'm on my way.
But this is a lie.
Let's inject an infomercial question:
Yes, but Steve, the four noble truths are for Buddhists. What about Christians?!
I can credit my wife with this: Let's turn to the YMCA! I swim twice a week at the Bryan YMCA in Greensboro. Every time I walk to the locker room, I pass a mantra painted onto the wall:
I am third.
God is first.
Others are second.
I am third.
Every time I walk by this, I wonder how my fellow Y-ers, and by extension all of America, feel about this. Frankly, I am always humbled by it. I am humbled by it because it reinforces what I feel, having come to my path by way of solid religious teachings, from the office of my Presbyterian minister, to my love of C.S. Lewis's writings, to my college course work in Asian religions and the Old Testament, and finally, to Joseph Campbell. This is the root of Christianity. And by extension, through the monomyth, the root of all religions.
God. Love. Service.
I will agree that we should not be victims. However, I refuse to believe that the answer to enlightenment lies in deep reverence of the self.
Going back to the Y mantra, I am determined to show that this talk of victimhood subverts the notion of putting others before ourselves. The central conceit is to say yes to the self, and no to others' influences over us. If we deny others any power over us, then how can we serve other people?
How can I put others before me, if I deny that they have any power over me?
Do my acts of kindness and service then become self-motivated, self-serving?!
Huh.
Okay. Let's go into the deep water.
Was Jesus a TRP?
Well… Jesus was a martyr. He died for the world, for our sins. He put us before himself.
Are we to believe that he was a victim? (Victim, martyr, same thing, heh heh heh…)
Well…
Jesus, regardless of your religious inclinations, represents the supreme hero. He sacrificed himself for the good of humanity. Self-sacrifice is a key part of the hero's journey. Jesus, like the Buddha (and vice versa), recognized the necessity of denying the entrapments that attach us to life. Jesus, like the Buddha (and vice versa), sought to teach us the path to salvation through service and denial of the self.
I wonder if I'm not defeating my own arguments, but maybe the TRP seeks to free us from victimhood, puts us at the centers of our universes, in the hope that we will then sacrifice our newfound, victimless selves, for the greater good.
Yes! This means that we are to supposed to be TRP so that we can be more productive and better employees! Er… wait a minute. Wait a minute! I've been hoodwinked!
All right, all right. Calm down. These guys, I'm sure, love Jesus. I'm sure they don't think that their workshops will lead us all to enlightenment and salvation. They just want us to be Totally Responsible Workers-- er, I mean People.
Listen… I have to go before the TRP police come after me and expect me to espouse TRP statements!
